Me versus my hoarding!
by Marielle Nicol
Greetings and welcome to the Closet Challenge, wherein I challenge myself to wear every single article of clothing in my closet. The guidelines are as follows: 1) Garment X has three chances to be worn. If it can’t suitably be paired with something after three tries, it’s gone. 2) If I wear Garment X for half the day but need to go home and change due to uncomfortability or feelings of general un-fabulousness, it’s gone. 3) I am allowing myself to keep 5 articles of clothing that defy the above two regulations, out of mercy on myself and respect to pieces of particular sentimental value. The number of times an infrequently worn article of clothing is either kept or discarded after being worn will be kept at the bottom on the page.
I must say I got off to a great start. I wore a pair of jeans that had been taking up closet space for years. They’re high waisted, a little cropped with a subtle flare… marvelous in theory. In practice, however, I was uncomfortable and didn’t like they way they looked when I wasn’t in complete control of the lighting and angle in which they were seen. It was clear – they had to go! So far, the experiment is working exactly as I want it to. As a farewell homage, I dedicate the above collage, which I’ve entitled ‘Theory vs Practice – A Tale of Two Mirrors’.
This crime scene features the culprit of my tripping in my room a few weeks ago. These black dress pants are way too small, but I’ve kept them, telling myself I’ll lose weight or wear them on a day when I’m ok with being uncomfortable. But hey, maybe that day will never come! I deserve to be comfortable and confident all at once, don’t I? So do you! In the spirit of my wrath as well as this fun challenge I’m here documenting, I ruthlessly chucked them into the goodbye pile.
Wednesday is the busiest day of my week. On big days like this I try to look my best, based on the belief that looking fabulous means being fabulous. I recently dug out both the pants and sweater in the photo above from the ‘not wearing right now but too valuable to give away’ pile and honestly, felt amazing in this outfit. Wearing all cream, I was like a tall glass of milk, but only the 3.25% stuff. Actually, let’s make it 18% percent; I was just a tall glass of cream.
Furthermore, I was recently told that when I wear this hat my head looks like an acorn and the profound truth of this observation still has me floored. Speaking of floors, this is a really pretty bathroom at my school which has a huge echo! Whenever I’m in here I sing stuff. Unless someone else is there peeing, then I whistle. Less invasive.
About two years ago I bought this beautiful lilac sundress from Aritzia on sale for $30. Since then, I have worn it once. It’s quite short, so this time I threw on a belt and wore it with pants. I put on the ALSO cream Club Monaco sweater (I love monochrome) and pulled the bow from the dress overtop as an interesting variation on that cute academic look that features a collared shirt or blouse with a bow layered under a sweater. Lesson learned: wear purple dress as a shirt! Keep.
It seems inevitable that I must introduce you to the hair on the right side of my head. We’ve come to be quite honest with one another, so I’m not ashamed to say in front of her that she’s a hypocrite. This is fine, because who isn’t? However, it has come to annoy me that while she takes a stance of humility by being so much shorter than the rest of the hairs, she’s always speaking out and demanding attention. Furthermore, while she claims to be a liberal, she continuously acts in ways that are decidedly veering towards the right.
When I was in New York City for my birthday last fall (with my mom, you guys) I bought these plaid pants at Star Struck Vintage. Since then, the zipper up the back broke. The other day I wore them anyway, with a safety pin keeping the zipper up. This became a large issue when I needed to use the washroom, but was the needed inspiration to buckle down and get the zipper fixed. I wore them with a camel sweater and felt put together while maintaining a flare of individualism. Keep.
Here is one of my 18th century opera star looks. I first bought the blazer after seeing Jessa wear something similar on HBO’s Girls, but it just doesn’t feel like me anymore. Scrap.